Being a Dad and an Entrepreneur is a Difficult Combination

OK, this is a long article. It combines a few train-rides of hand-written notes all combined together.

Take today:

Upon arriving home I had to chase, with hobbled knee, to catch my 4yo boy running down the street. Wow. My hydrotherapy was wasted.

Sarah needed to go out (to help her 96yo grandmother). So I presumed I could put Master4 in front of a Shaun the Sheep DVD and resume my office work. Why not? Because he wanted to hold my hand when the sad bits came on. Sigh. Ok, buddy, it’s cute, so I will.

Then his little brother woke up, so he sat with us for 60 minutes. Sarah found Jai glued to TV and Aidan half-asleep on my lap and me almost asleep. It hadn’t been that easy the whole time, but the boys finally settled just as Mummy got home.

So, I have decided to find inspiration.

Here are quotes from articles written by Daddy Bloggers whose words are helping me find sanity.

“I do believe I am a better and more interesting father because I love what I do as an entrepreneur. I hope my children will have a better life because they see me enjoying mine.”
“Children don’t need to be entertained all the time. They are perfectly happy just sitting in their room for a few hours, surrounded by their toys. In fact, it is very useful and good for them to get really bored every now and then. It will enhance their creativity and make them more independent.”
“… combining entrepreneurship with parenting is awesome. It is easier to combine the two than when you have a regular job, and in the end I think even the kids enjoy it more“
_{From How to be a Fatherpreneur}

“I have always believed it important to turn off work from time to time to clear your mind and relax, even if that respite comes in the form of Frozen for the 42nd time.“
_{From 3 Reasons Dads Make Great Entrepreneurs}

I feel better now.

Jai is beating pots in the backyard, Aidan is asleep, and I am waiting on hold for CentreLink to answer my queries about some financial relief.

In the event that time-travel is invented, this list of ‘Dad Advice is aimed at my younger self. Otherwise, it’s aimed at any male aged 17 to 47 who has become a Dad. 47? Yes, I am 49yo and I have two sons – ages 4 and 2.

Giving Dad advice is not something I ever expected to be doing. I remember saying when MasterFour was born that I may have spent some time being a childminder BUT I would not supply any advice because I didn’t believe I knew enough to do so. It would have been grandiloquent of me to do so.

I was right. Being a Dad is the hardest job on the planet. Okay, some women are putting their hands up saying “Ahem.” Yes, yes, you gave birth to the child. Stopping that discussion right there.

Some days the subject of my next article is right in front of me: My kids.

And not like you would think. They are definitely the most beautiful humans to come into my life, without a single doubt.

But what would or could they do that makes them so amazing? They are living breathing metaphors for the rest of us.

A Box Full of Nothing

Jai is sitting the lounge room with a box full of toys. He says the toys are important, but he doesnt want his little brother to get to them. So he sits beside the box, one hand on top, staring at the lounge. I asked him what he is doing…

“This is all mine. Not Aidan’s. I must keep it closed.”

“But dude, how are you going to play if it is all in the box?”

{Jai whilst staring at box} “It is all mine.” I dare not teach him the words ‘precious’ nor ‘protect

“So when will you let it all out of the box? You have to play with it some time!”

“Ummm… “

Now that I am a father to two beautiful boys (Jai, 4 years old, and Aidan, now 16 months old!), I have noticed how the experience and knowledge gained from the position has changed me – and all in a positive way.

Now that I am responsible for teaching a child how to survive, I have learnt many aspects of my own character. I enjoy teaching both boys…

a foreign language effectively – the transition between googaa and broken english is an amazing moment.
basic clothing techniques – yet still enjoy the humor of watching a child with his underwear on his head and shirt on his legs on the return run to his bedroom, laughing histerically!
bathroom hygiene – the most important teachings, a daily regular activity with all of us, yet one that is a constant lesson for children. We are slowly getting through to them!
mindfulness – wherein I teach Jai that the world does NOT revolve around him, therefore crying and anger will not resolve issues, rather that an awareness of what is happening will help him to win more battles without four-minute sits in the naughty corner.

All of these teachings were a true test of my ability to communicate with tolerance, without fear of failure.

How is that the lessons I give my four year old son were either not taught to or cannot be remembered by insurgents? Surely the parents of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant insurgents taught their sons these same lessons? What went wrong?

I teach him daily that any man who has run from hurt people without sorrow or apology is most likely the perpetrator.
I teach him that when a man lies about the facts (that I saw him hit his younger brother), there will be repercussions (four minutes in the time-out chair).
I teach him that violence does not beget violence. I regularly ask who hit him to warrant hitting anyone else? I certainly did not. We do not condone hitting children as a form of punishment – it teaches the wrong values.
I teach him about restraint, about asking for what he needs, and that even if we say ‘please‘, we won’t always get what we want.
I teach him to respect and remember our teachings.,
Most importantly, we teach through action the value of hugging, tickling, giggling, and laughter.

Yes, he can be a naughty little boy. After all, he is four years old.

But at no time have we taught him to be nasty, nor to disrespect human life, nor to hate. He dearly loves his little brother, but we know he gets a little jealous of the extra attention he gets. Surely the ISIL soldiers are grown up enough not to have this problem any more?