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Living with XXY Alone

Living with XXY, and alone now, has taught me that my brain is wired differently to most – yet I am still capable of doing so much.

Yet loud and excessive noise, confusing confrontation, and unwarranted aggression, these all drain me, so I get lethargy and brain-drain when life gets too much. Yet I actively pursue self-improvement, artistic ventures, community involvement, window cleaning opportunities, all of which help me live and survive.


With all this mind, you may understand why sometimes I don’t think before I speak.

Banner of Black Pencils

In November 2024, whilst on duty at [REDACTED], I made the mistake of verbally mentioning that I noticed the beauty of a young woman’s legs.

To be clear, she did NOT get angry or aggressive. We chatted about life, work, Kangaroo Island, and she spent almost $200 on local art.

Yet the following day I was told she had told her mother, who then sent a malicious email claiming [REDACTED] had a pervert working for them. I am not a pervert! I simply speak what I see, sometimes without the filters many have learned to apply.

My intention was never to objectify or cause distress. I only said, “I am blinded by the beauty of your legs,” and that was it. Apparently, even a simple, honest observation of someone’s visual appearance can now be considered unacceptable.

Probability Thinking Improves Perspective

I’ve always noticed the beauty in people – it’s just how I’m wired – but in today’s world, saying so can be risky.

What used to feel like a simple human observation can now land with weight you never intended. Boundaries are real, and I now understand why people protect them, but it’s a little sad that kindness sometimes has to whisper instead of speak plainly.

Over time, I’ve learned to shift the focus. I now notice beauty in how people show up – their patience, presence, generosity, or calm energy – without referencing their physical appearance.

Now my compliments and observations are firmly in the mental and active space: How someone thinks, moves, works, or treats others. This way, I can be honest about what I appreciate without fear of being misinterpreted or accused of harassment.

Respect travels further than attraction ever could, and it’s the kind of beauty that lasts.

POSTSCRIPT: Your comments on this post may be deleted. Not because I don’t value them, but because online words can easily be twisted to attack rather than engage. I can’t say nice things without caution, yet some feel free to say awful ones. Thanks in advance.

STEPHEN MITCHELL’S PHOTOGRAPHY AND COMPOSITIONS ON REDUBBLE.COM

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