Your Husband: Always Support, Never Servitude

I’m no relationship guru, but I’ve picked up a few things, especially in the last few months. Let me tell you something upfront: Marriage is not servitude.

I’ve been through the ups and downs of marriage, and I’ve learned that being a better husband doesn’t mean sacrificing who you are. It’s about partnership, togetherness, and understanding. It’s about enhancing your relationship through respect, love, laughter, and partnership.

Here are my personal tips on how to improve your relationship with your spouse:

Communication:
Hey, remember to talk to your wife. I’m not just talking about your day; I’m talking about your dreams, your fears, your feelings, and even your vulnerabilities. It’s like a heart-to-heart, minus the sappy music.
Patience:
You know, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is the perfect marriage. Be patient, especially when she’s taking forever to decide what to wear.
Support:
Supporting your wife is crucial. Cheering her on is great, but there are other ways to show it. Listen when she talks; it means a lot. Help with chores, surprise her with small gestures, or give her compliments. Be there for her when she needs to talk or unwind. Show interest in her passions and dreams. Celebrate her achievements, no matter how small. It’s your support, not just applause, that strengthens your connection.
Listening:
Pay attention when your wife talks. You might learn something, or at least avoid the “Are you even listening?” question.
Share Responsibilities:
Don’t be that guy who can’t find the laundry basket. Help with chores and earn some brownie points (sometimes literally).
Romance (and Understand She May Not Always Be in the Mood):
Romance isn’t just about physical intimacy; it’s about building a connection. Remember, she might not always be in the mood, but you can still cherish moments through gestures, surprises, and quality time.
Acceptance:
Love your wife for who she is, quirks and all. You’re not perfect either, but you’re perfect for each other.
Laughter:
Life gets serious, but don’t forget to share a good laugh. A shared joke or funny story brings you closer and relieves stress.
Don’t Undermine her Parenting Styles:
Respect each other’s parenting styles. You may have different approaches, but that doesn’t mean one is right and the other is wrong. Avoid undermining her methods. Instead, discuss and find common ground for your children’s sake. You’re a team in this parenting adventure.
Be a Friend, be Friendly, but not Clingy:
Being a husband means more than being a spouse; it means being a friend. Be her companion, share her interests, and support her in both joy and sorrow. Be friendly, but respect her space and independence. Being too clingy can be suffocating, so find the right balance. Give her room to breathe and nurture her own friendships and interests.
Understand her Emotions – Respond Appropriately:
Empathy is crucial in any relationship. Sometimes, your wife just needs someone to listen and understand her feelings without trying to solve the problem. Learn when she wants a listening ear and when she’s open to suggestions. Sometimes, silence is the best response, and that’s okay.
Not everything has to be Fixed:
We guys have a natural urge to fix things. But sometimes, your wife doesn’t need a solution; she needs empathy, validation, or just someone to vent to. So, resist the urge to play Mr. Fix-It all the time. Being there and offering support is often enough. Remember, some things are better left as they are, even in your marriage.
Be Involved with Daily and Family Needs. (Remember You’re a Team, Not Her Slave):
It’s important to be actively involved in daily and family matters. However, remember you’re not at her beck and call. You’re two adults, a married team working together. Your wife is not your mother; it’s essential to realize this. When you both respect each other as equals, everything falls into place naturally. It’s about partnership, not servitude.
Make Her Laugh to Get into Her Heart:
Laughter is the way to a person’s heart, including your wife’s. But there’s a fine line. While humor can be a bond, avoid joking at her or her family’s expense. As you get to know her better, understand what makes her laugh. It’s an art and a bit tricky, but it was her smile that attracted you to her. Rekindle that sparkle by bringing laughter into your everyday moments.
Learn How She Says “I Love You”:
Understanding how your wife expresses love is like deciphering a secret code. It could be kisses, smiles, or even baking beetroot and pumpkin. It can be gardening, sitting together in silence, or small compliments. The more you understand her unique “I love you” language, the better you can reciprocate. It’s like a secret handshake only you two know.
And the best part? It often doesn’t require spending money; giving of yourself is the most cherished gift.
Respect Her, Be Loyal to Her:
Respect and loyalty are the unspoken promises of marriage. They were there in your vows and celebrated during the ceremony. Uphold these principles as the foundation of your relationship.
Be Trustworthy, Don’t Steal Her Chocolate, and Love Everything About Her:
Trustworthiness means no sneaky chocolate raids or teaching the kids to tell lies about her hairy toes. Instead, love and appreciate every facet of her, even the quirkiest ones.
Don’t Insult Her Intelligence, Don’t Try to Outsmart Her!
Never insult her intelligence and resist the urge to outsmart her. If chocolate disappears, replace it with the exact same kind, preferably with a sweet note. It’s a small gesture that speaks volumes about your thoughtfulness.
Remember that She Is Not Yours and You Are Not Hers.
In a marriage, you’re not each other’s property; you’re partners living together. If she wants to sleep in a separate bed for a while, it’s not a crisis. It can be quality time for self-discovery and adapting to each other’s love languages. We’re all a work in progress, right?
It’s Not All Plain Sailing, and No Marriage Is Perfect:
No marriage is flawless. There are bumps in the road and moments of imperfection. But those imperfections make your love story uniquely beautiful. Embrace the quirks, laugh at the mishaps, and cherish the journey. It’s not all smooth sailing, but it’s your adventure to navigate together.
While Arguments Happen, Learn and Reconcile:
Arguments are part of any relationship, but don’t let them escalate to a point of no return. Use them as opportunities to learn, grow, and ultimately reconcile.

In a nutshell, remember this:
Marriage isn’t servitude but a dynamic partnership, defined by respect, laughter, love, and understanding. Whether it’s embracing each other’s love languages, being trustworthy, or dealing with the occasional separate bed, every aspect plays a crucial role in this unique journey.

No marriage is perfect, but the imperfections make your story uniquely beautiful. As you continue navigating the ever-evolving terrain of your relationship, let respect, love, and laughter guide the way.

I’ve rambled on, but to conclude: Cherish your partner, learn from the arguments, and remember that no marriage is perfect. It’s a journey, and I’m just sharing my two cents on how to make it a bit more awesome.