8 Good Reasons to Work Alone

At some point in our lives, we endure working in a cubicle environment. It’s during this time that we discover why working as a solo proprietor is the popular choice for many people who purchase and run small-businesses.

Here are eight reasons I have observed from many years working between fibrecore petitions.

Noise:
Why do some people have to spend their morning complaining about their miserable lives? If/When I want to know, I’ll ask. Don’t call me, I’ll call you.
Radio:
The overlapping sound of multiple FM channels sounds like a pod of wailing whales. Please wear a headset. Nobody else wants to hear Gregorian chants at this hour of the morn’.
Television:
I don’t care to know about the characters of sitcoms. I don’t care who’s getting married, who is pregnant, who’s died, who’s mother’s only-child’s boyfriend’s half-brother has found their long-lost father.
Whilst it might seem odd to you…
I am not awake in the morning, nor am I going to eat communally at lunchtime, nor do I want to sit at the front-bar of my local pub discussing football.
Every moment of my day is utilised to its full potential. Even when I am sleeping.
Don’t wake me too early. Email me, I’ll get back to you. Eventually.
Hello / Goodbye:
While it might be a standard reply/response at the beginning and end of each working day, I find these few words just make it all a constant reminder of the “Ground Hog Day” effect that cubicle work generally is. A motto I’ve had since childhood is “Never say goodbye, because it might be forever.”
Excuses:
It’s not important to give an excuse to everything people say about you. Just for once, please keep the noise down and get on with your work.
Smell #1 – Body Odour:
Elevators should say ‘Maximum of 16 CLEAN people’. There is nothing more unbearable than the armpit of another human in such close confinement. Particularly when the midday-joggers return to work.
Smell #2 – Smoke:
This would be the numero uno reason I work alone. There is nothing worse than having to deal with another human who exudes the potent smell of nicotine. Quit, Desist, or move away from me. If you like the taste of carcinogenic toxins so much, why exhale? – Keep it to yourself!
Polyphonic Ringtones:
When did your work contract ever include that you could text your social-world friends during your working day? Why must that infernal toy ring, beep, sing, and wail so loudly? I swear, if you put that device down for just one hour, you’d be able to get a bucketload of work completed.

Whilst some might cynical, others ever-so-slightly satirical, most of these are also the reasons I couldn’t work with you, nor you with me.

This was built over a few years of early morning-starts, watching and listening other people’s morning interactions, and some snippets someone must have written in moments of anger.