Becoming a Better Person and Partner

Hey guys, yes, I am talking about topics closer to home, yet again!

FYI: About half of this journal is now dedicated to sharing my self-improvement journey, with the aim of ensuring that the lessons I’ve learned can be helpful to anyone who reads it!

[BOOK] Flip Thinking: The Life-Changing Art of Turning Problems Into Opportunities

This article is a compilation of thoughts on how I’m becoming a better person and partner for my wife, who means the world to me. I want to be a nicer person in general. When I didn’t even realize how ‘not nice’ I had become until it was pointed out to me, I knew I needed to work out why, where and how I can improve myself – and commit to doing that. If not for the one I love most, but also for my own self-worth.

Researching this topic was enjoyable. After delving into numerous websites and reading various books by experts in psychology and psychotherapy, I discovered these three important and crucial factors can hinder us from being genuinely kind to our partners.

Overthinking:
~ Over-analyzing can cause hesitation. Trust your instincts; don’t second-guess excessively.
Being too accommodating:
~ Balance consideration to avoid predictability and neglecting your needs.
Avoiding conflict:
~ Suppressing feelings harms relationships. Address issues with open communication for healthier connections.

Let me expand on these a little further:

1. Overthinking:

Anecdote: Your partner’s birthday is approaching, and you want to surprise them with the perfect gift. You spend days brainstorming ideas, comparing various options, and worrying if it will be meaningful enough. In the end, you’ve stressed yourself out so much that the joy of gift-giving is diminished.
Ways to Unblock:

Embrace mindfulness: Instead of obsessing over the “perfect” gift, focus on the joy and love behind the gesture. Remember that it’s the thought that counts.
Set a reasonable deadline: Allocate a specific amount of time for gift planning and stick to it. This prevents overthinking and unnecessary stress.
Have confidence in your choice: Trust your instincts and believe in your decision-making abilities. Your effort and sincerity matter more than perfection.

2. Being too accommodating:

Anecdote: You often agree with your wife’s vacation plans, even if there are places you’d like to visit.
Ways to Unblock:

Express your Preferences: Begin by discussing your travel interests and the places you’d like to explore, even if they differ from your wife’s choices.
Find a Compromise: Work together to plan vacations that include both your interests and your wife’s, creating a balanced itinerary that satisfies both of you.
Self-Care: Realize that advocating for your own desires during vacation planning is a form of self-care, contributing to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

3. Avoiding conflict:

Anecdote: Your differing parenting styles often lead to disagreements with your wife. Instead of avoiding conflict by letting her handle most parenting decisions, try these approaches:
Ways to Unblock:

Open Communication: When you both have different ideas about parenting, start a conversation. Talk about your concerns or disagreements calmly and respectfully. Share your thoughts openly so that you can work together to find common ground.
Active Listening: It’s important to listen to your wife’s perspective. Truly hearing her out before responding ensures she feels valued and understood. Active listening can bridge the gap between your parenting styles and lead to better cooperation.
Seek Compromise: Instead of sidestepping conflicts, aim to find compromises that work for both of you. By working together to create solutions that meet both your needs and her preferences, you can strengthen your partnership and create a more harmonious parenting approach.

By implementing these strategies, I know I can become a better person, partner, parent, and provider. Whilst it’s a gradual process, in which practice and patience will help us all make positive changes in both our behavior and relationships.

At the end of the day, every day, I believe in this:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love never fails. Be who you want to see.”
~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, New Testament, Bible. Whilst I am an Athiest, there is still plenty of good morals and scruples offered and worth believing in.

Wow, this article has truly resonated with me!

It took a few weeks of introspection and analysis to acknowledge these aspects, but I now understand the value of this self-awareness journey. I’ve recognized the need for personal growth. I aim to be kinder and more considerate in general.